A "Challenge-Free" Post

Today I’m not writing to follow up on my current challenge or revisit an old one. Instead, I’m writing because I want to share my thoughts and experiences from yesterday, which were....well...challenging. Ha ha!
Kidding aside, for some reason I am remembering moments in the past when various friends and colleagues have commented about how I have it all together. That I’m successful, organized, motivated, and know how to achieve my goals. Ah yes, I can be, and it is amazing when everything is aligned for me to be.
But here's a news flash...I often feel like I am none of those things. Not successful, not together, not organized. In fact, I often feel unmotivated and completely clueless about how to achieve my goals.
Though I had an overall good day yesterday, and got work done on several client projects, I missed several planned options for exercising and working out because I got distracted by a different activity or “must-do” from my to-do list. Then, because I have a new phone and can’t yet access all the info I usually can, I couldn’t do a specific activity I had planned to do – picking up a print order I emailed to Office Depot because the access code was at home in my old phone – and got frozen with indecision. Should I drive the 5 minutes back to my house to get the code or come back tomorrow? Should I go for a run as planned or just bag everything and have some ice cream instead?
Hit with a wave of fatigue and an inability to decide, I took a side trip to Michael’s (the craft store) and dove even deeper into the pool of feeling overwhelmed by too many choices. After about an hour of considering a vast array of creative items (paint-by-numbers and hide-a-stone kits were the highlights) I bought some markers I really don’t need before once again confronting the huge parking lot and choices waiting outside.
As I stood anchored in the parking lot once again, I realized a lack of food earlier in the day was probably at least partially at fault for my parking lot paralysis. After positively self-talking myself into approving of buying a meal out for myself when I have food at home, I sat outside enjoying the breeze along with a smoothie and sandwich before coming home to color and write. All of these activities were enjoyable and rewarding, but still not in line with other “to do” items I need to complete sooner rather than later.
So what’s the point of this post? Why out myself for being unproductive?
Just this…to let anyone who is currently binge-watching synchronized swimming or rhythmic gymnastics instead of working on the project you were supposed to finish yesterday know that you are not alone. Life and all the responsibilities that come with it can be a lot. All those things we said yes to – and the ones we were unexpectedly "gifted" with the chance to do – can feel really heavy sometimes. It is OK to put them down, to rest, to be kind to yourself.
Last night, when I hit what felt like a roadblock, I followed my creative urges which – once I made a decision and took some action - helped me release some of the frustration I felt about not going for a run or walk. After coloring and writing, I also felt more energetic than I did earlier in the evening and realized exercising tonight might not have been a good thing to do.
The projects I needed to finish will get done another day - maybe even today. The document I need to get printed will still be there this morning. The chance to run or work out will be there tonight.
The bottom line is this...It is OK to let someone else down to show up for yourself. Most things on our lists are not urgent, but listening to what our body, mind, and spirit needs is. I’m learning to do this more every day and hope the examples and stories I share about my experiences help someone else to tune in to themselves too.


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