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My Perfect for Now Home


It’s no secret that I have traveled a lot for many years. There are many reasons for my travel: opportunities to be involved in exciting projects, see friends, have adventures, and make money. One of the lesser-known reasons is that I was seeking a place that felt like home.


Until recently, I was living in the area where I grew up, but over the course of several years, I began to feel less at home there. Many things contributed to this, the largest of which was my own inner growth – or desire to grow – beyond the confines of the places I already knew. Thus the concept of finding what I now refer to as my “perfect for now” home was also behind my various trips.


One of those “perfect for now” homes has become mine, an hour at a time, on my yoga mat. From one city to another, I’ve had the chance to find places of comfort and rest in between poses through the breath and the accompanying guidance of yoga instructors. Some I’ve seen only once, while others became an instant habit, especially since finding a regular landing spot in Florida.


A few weeks into being here, I joined a gym and reluctantly tried a yoga class. Typically, I have not experienced what I consider quality yoga instruction in workout facilities. But this class was different, and I immediately felt at peace.


The instructor, Karina, was unique, not just for a gym, but for the practice. I felt like the class just flowed out of her passion for yoga and for the joy it brought to her life. Afterward, I felt inclined to introduce myself and give her a positive thought card. We immediately bonded and I have gone back regularly ever since.


Karina’s classes have challenged me in ways I did not expect. She has introduced me to new aspects of yoga and myself in every class – and given me the courage to try and succeed at poses I didn’t think I could do.


Karina’s classes have also become part of what I long for when I am away - that feeling of being at home every time I experience the comfort of her voice and presence. Since before I flew back on Saturday, I’ve been excited to be back on the mat enveloped in her soothing suggestions and guidance.


However, it was not to be. Arriving at class a few minutes late, I was surprised to see open floor space in the normally packed room. “It’s after Labor Day,” I thought. “I guess the summer people have gone home.”


But as I walked into the room, I saw the real reason. Karina was not there. In her place, a substitute instructor. Sigh.


I found a spot near the back and rolled out my mat. I sat calmly in Easy Pose for a few moments to ground my practice as I observed the sub dive right into a sequence Karina would do at the apex of class. I watched the sub's technically solid yet sadly mechanical demonstration of a Sun Salutation with apathy, wondering if this was what I wanted to do today.


The quick answer was no. I was here to experience the comfort of home that Karina creates, not an Instagram-able yoga clinic from someone I’d never met. It….was…not…the…same.


So, I did something I’d never done before. I rolled up my mat, stood up, and walked out the door.

Some would say that I should be able to do yoga and find peace wherever I go – and I believe that is true. However, today’s yoga practice was about being authentic and believing that the most important yoga you can do is one that helps you align with yourself.


Leaving the room was about listening to the voice of inner knowing inside my head. It was about being more at home with what my body and soul needed than with what the sub was teaching. It was about recognizing it was better to go the instant I wanted to instead of staying in a situation to preserve other people’s feelings or their impressions of me.


Even through her absence today, Karina helped me find the courage to do things that are still challenging and once again surprise myself in that room. True, it wasn’t the same experience of home that I got from her classes. However, it’s clear that being Karina’s student (and others) is helping me find that “perfect for now” feeling of home inside myself on and off the mat. 






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